In job interviews, bosses can embellish everything from the benefits (“Take vacation anytime!”) to the workload (“Everyone leaves at 4:30”). But where employers really stretch the truth is in job postings—kind of like how you beef up your resumé and cover letter to leave the best impression possible.
To make sure you know what you might be getting yourself into, learn to translate every piece of HR jargon you’ll encounter on your job hunt.
“Self-motivated team player.”
“You’ll have to get any information you need from other team members who will most likely be far too busy to help you learn, so you’d better know how to ingratiate yourself.”
“Good sense of humor.”
Can’t handle fart jokes? Keep looking. You can expect that foul language and pizza eating contests will be a part of the corporate culture, says LinkedIn career expert Nicole Williams.
If this sounds pretty sweet to you, be wary before assuming a company that asks for a sense of humor will appreciate your dirty Twitter feed. This job might be so terrible you’ll have to laugh to survive it, says Shapiro.
“It also could mean terrible clients that you’ll have to have good humor to deal with,” she says.
“Excellent salary.”
Before you start planning your early retirement, know that this is probably just an advertising tactic to get you to apply, and isn’t necessarily a sign of a six-figure salary, says Williams.
“If [they] have to say ‘excellent’, it likely isn’t. And if it is, the job sucks,” she says.
“No job is too small’ attitude.”
Translation: lots of grunt work. You’ll get the crappiest jobs and your boss will expect you to handle them with a smile on your face, says Shapiro.
Be ready to be asked to spend hours at the photocopier and maybe even pick up coffee or dry cleaning, says Williams.
“Extremely organized.”
Sure, being organized is a normal job prerequisite, but when that word ‘extremely’ gets thrown in, it’s “a definite warning that your boss is going to be on your ass,” says Williams.
This could also translate into working for a manager who has zero organizational skills of his own and is expecting the new hire to keep the team on track.
“Thrives under pressure.”
Be ready to keep your nose to the grindstone. People have probably left this company because they couldn’t handle it, or have had nervous breakdowns right in the middle of the office, says Shapiro.
“Opportunities for growth.”
This phrase is a favorite among startups with big dreams and small budgets, says Williams. It usually means you’ll have the opportunity for growth—if the company grows, too. These opportunities probably won’t come for a few more years, so it better be a place you’re really passionate about.
“What they often don’t tell you is that they expect you to work for minimal pay in exchange for the ‘opportunity’ to toil away on weekends and maybe exercise your stocks options if the company finally goes public,” Williams says……….
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